I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
