I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
