he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
