Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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