Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
