Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I forget how to act sober
Randomize