and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
