Cold hands, warm shart.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Someone signed my nipple.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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