Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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