I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
