He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
