It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
