new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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