What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
