The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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