I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
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Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
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I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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