So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize