Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
