There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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