I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Less talking, more tequila
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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