Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
