Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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