if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize