my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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