WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
