I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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