At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
