You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
