This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
