rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.