I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
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I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
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You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!