You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
