I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
