Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
