so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
