Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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