plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
