I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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