Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
