We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
