Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
