we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
