yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
