I want to stick my p in your. b.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
