NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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