sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
