I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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