Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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