I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
