Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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