Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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