Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
