How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
