apparently the secret to your success is patron
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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