Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize