Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete

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(763): View more from Minnesota

The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho

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(734): View more from Michigan

debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.

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(343): View more from Ontario

I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time

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(706): View more from Georgia

You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....

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(213): View more from California

Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?

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