He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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