We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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