We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
