He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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