Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Damn victory sex feels great
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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