Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
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Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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