Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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